When I tell people I’m a Social and Emotional Intelligence (SEI) Coach, most people aren’t really sure what I do. So, I explain about helping people increase their ability to be aware of their own emotions and those of others, in the moment, so they can use that information to better manage their own behavior and their relationships. Research has shown people with high levels of skill in social and emotional intelligence, or EQ, have better relationships personally and at work, they earn about 30% more over their lifetime, and they have been proven to be healthier—living about 10 years longer.
I’m passionate about helping people make their life and relationships better.
This started when I was about 12 and became a Candy Striper in a local hospital. By the time I was 16, I had put in more than a thousand volunteer hours and was named Candy Striper of the year. It must have been a slow day for news because the local newspaper put my photo and a story about me wanting to help people on the front page of the Saturday paper.
I considered becoming a nurse and actually started college at 17—but I only completed one semester. Instead, I fell in love, got married, had babies. Life was good as a stay-at-home mom who loved working and playing with little children at home and at church.
But then there was a hard, hard season where I seemed to go through rejection after rejection until life was more about just surviving. Along the way I worked as support staff in two different counseling centers. All of this combined to make me acutely interested in personal development—I wanted to be a better me, to grow as a person.
I consumed books, went to conferences, and workshops...I pursued it. And my life began to settle down again, becoming rich with opportunities. Being the co-owner of a specialty gift shop for ten years helped me to learn all sorts of things about business. Working for my church was next as the coordinator of 2 different ministries aimed at helping unemployed and underemployed women develop job readiness skills. Did you catch that? I was helping people—loved, loved that job.
After a couple of years, when I realized my students needed more than a nice-looking resume and a new suit from Dress for Success, I started my 2nd semester of college in my late 50’s. I planned to become a therapist, however my father became ill with cancer. Even though he lived 2 hours away, I helped with his care…3 days living in the nursing home with him, then 3 days at my home working on school projects until he passed away. And then…five weeks later, I was diagnosed with cancer. School was put on hold again until I was well.
In the time while I was out, a new degree was created: Psychology with a Specialization in Life Coaching. Because of my fascination with Personal Development, it was an even better fit. I graduated Magna Cum Laude at 62.
During these years, I’ve realized I have a gift for recognizing patterns and seeing areas where people are not consistent in the use of their strengths. Working with social and emotional intelligence assessments allows me to help people pinpoint areas that are hampering them in their pursuit of success in relationships and well-being. In addition, I’m passionate about training parents, teachers, and children’s ministry staff in ways to increase social and emotional skills in children. Life can be too busy and technology can swamp our best intentions. I love helping people develop the skills to have a Deliberate Presence in life. It’s an incredible blessing to be able to positively impact current and future generations.
Are you a parent or teacher? Or maybe you’re on staff at a school or church.
Deliberate Presence specializes in training parents, teachers, school, and church staff
members to help children build skills in social and emotional intelligence.