YES! Well, actually, no. While it’s not strictly necessary, it’s important to have an awareness of your SEI strengths and weaknesses as you work with your child. It’s just logical a person will more effectively teach and reinforce behavior they’ve already mastered. Because it’s not unusual to see highs and lows in the same areas on assessments of parents or teachers and the child in their care, having the adult take an assessment is recommended.
Deliberate Presence works with assessments for adults, youth, and children. There is also a 360 version that’s designed to gather the observations of everyone around an individual regarding the individual’s Social and Emotional Intelligence.
There are several things you can do, if you want to increase your own SEI. The list below is laid out with the strategies that have been proven most effective first.
- You can take the assessment from the Institute of SEI and commit to working a program with a certified Social and Emotional intelligence coach on the areas needing to be strengthened. This strategy is actually the most effective return on your investment of time, money, and effort. In 2001, the International Personnel Management Association noted that training increases productivity by 22%. However, when coaching is added the productivity increases 88-400%.
- You could work with a Social and Emotional Intelligence coach to take the assessment and receive a debrief on your report. Then, if you’re disciplined, you can use the tips, suggestions, and resources from the 40-page report generated by the assessment, to build your skills in SEI. In any case, taking an assessment gives you a baseline. It can then be used for comparison if you take a second assessment after you’ve worked for several months to a year on incorporating the new skills into your life. This would help you see the return on the investment you’ve made of time, study, and effort to grow in Social and Emotional behavioral skills.
- You can pursue a self-study program. There are an amazing number of books on Social and Emotional Intelligence. On the day I wrote this a quick search on Amazon for the words “emotional intelligence” listed 5,920 results.
Awareness is the foundational key to emotional intelligence. The 26 competencies are skills and behaviors that are learned and practiced until they become habit or second nature. While it’s popular to say that it takes 21 days to create a habit, building higher levels of Social and Emotional intelligence will differ from person to person depending on the amount of deliberate practice and attention given to cultivate these skills. Just as learning to memorize your math facts takes time, learning new SEI behaviors takes time. It’s a process and the sooner you begin, the sooner you’ll see results.
Are you a parent or teacher? Or maybe you’re on staff at a school or church.
Deliberate Presence specializes in training parents, teachers, school, and church staff
members to help children build skills in social and emotional intelligence.